One, who wants to influence on the spirit and thoughts of others, should never insist them to accept the realities as an idea belonging to him. Rather, in contrary, he shall try to express the realities absolutely and even as the idea of the other party. Pay attention!
As we know everybody loves his ideas like his physical children, and the reason for love and interest in both cases is the same. His ideas are considered as a part of him just like his children, and loving them forms a beam of self-love, which is the most rooted man's instinct. And in contrast, the thoughts of others are strange to man like the others' children, and naturally fail to attract his interest, and even sometimes they provoke his competition sense.
Therefore, accepting the realities the way of attainment to which is through the man's own mind, is much easier and favorable for him. Because in such cases intellect and affection are situated in one direction and in contrary, if they are entered to his soul as a strange thing, a contradiction and struggle occurs between his intellect and affection, the result of which in the most individuals is victory of affection. Intellect tends to accept it as it is true, but affection finds it strange and belonging to someone else, and refrains accepting it.
It is noteworthy that if our real purpose is fact seeking and not personal victory in the discussion, it is better to pretend that the idea or its completion belongs to the other party not to us. If our aim is acceptance of an idea, why we shall insist on it being accepted as our own idea.
Several trials being performed on the individuals have exactly proved that applying this method for penetration into the thoughts of others has been successful. Basically, for achievement to this goal following principles should be observed:
1- It should be tried to say a part of the matter, and the other party shall perceive the rest of it with guidance of the speaker. In fact, the speaker should play the role of a mental leader for manifestation of innate talents of the other party, not the role of an independent being.
2- It should be tried to propound the matters as discussions under study through mentioning questions and queries, and the other party should make the final reply as the final decision.
3- It should be strictly avoided to attribute matters to oneself, particularly with the phrases like no one has mentioned this before me, and such like.
4- If there are clarifications or references in the utterances of the other party in respect to the matter in question, it should be explicitly remarked and mentioned as a proof. Even if it exists in the utterance of those being respected and loved by the other party, like his father, master, family, or intimate friend, it should be remarked.
Holy Quran, which is a superior symbol of influential and effective speech and its influence on people's thought has been so wonderful that some have called it as a magic, often applies this method in its arguments before the adversaries and self deluded persons in the phrases like:
ءَاِلهٌ مَعَ اللهِ)
Is there a god with God?
مَنْ اِلهٌ غَیْرُ اللهِ)
What god other than God?
هَلْ مِنْ خالِق غَیْرُ اللهِ)
Is there any creator, apart from God?
And also the phrases such as:
اَفَلَمْ یَسِیرُوا فِی الاَْرْضِ فَتَکُونَ لَهُمْ قُلُوبٌ یَعْقِلُونَ بِها).
What, have they not journeyed in the land so that they have hearts to understand with or ears to hear with?
It stipulates different issues and leaves final judgement on the burden of the hearers and seeks help from their own conscience in solving the issues.
1- The Ant sura (27), verse 61
2- The Story sura (28), verse 72
3- The Angels sura (35), verse 3
4- The Pilgrimage sura (22), verse 46
